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Monday, August 22, 2011

The "Singles" Conference

I know.
I know.
Your probably debating if you even want to read any further. 
I assure you, if you do, you might get a good laugh out of it.

It all started when my friend asked me if I was interested in just going to the workshops, which sounded awesome. I've never been one to jump at the opportunity to get around a bunch of single, marriage hungry twenty-somethings that are prancing around with their colored skinny jeans and too-big-for-their face ray bans, but I figured I would give it a chance. Part of me is glad I did, the other part, not so much...

I tried to go to the first dinner and had a complete.panic.attack.
I arrived to find hundreds (embellishment) of plastic folding chairs and tables lined up in a teeny, tiny stake center gym. There was a giant buffet of traditional Hawaiian food and a hundred people milling. I glanced around me and wondering how the h-e-double-hockey sticks I had gotten here. There were 18 year old boys running around with flowers and leaves (NOT charming) in their hair, chasing (I'm not kidding) CHASING girls! I felt like I had taken a sick trip back to the playground of my 3rd grade elementary school. I sat hunched in a tiny, plastic seat not daring make eye contact with anybody. They might try to talk to me, and marry me.  I have never been so depressed to be single in my life. I know...mean. Sorry. 
However, in my defense. I think I was sitting at the table of 19 year olds that were looking for that special girl to write on them on their mission....Um, no thanks. Well, I high-tailed out of there, advising my friend that I had to leave, immediately, and that I would walk home. 

The next morning I went to the workshops, which were FANTASTIC. I know your wondering, how could you go back after such strong feelings towards those "singles"? Well, I don't know. I have no explanation than something pushing me out of bed that morning. And, I'm so glad I did. I learned all about how to budget my money in the Lord's way, balance between work and God, and how to be a missionary, discreetly and humbly. I was spiritually-fed in a way I haven't been in awhile, which was definitely worth the $35 entry fee for the conference. 

The closing session was also wonderful. Here are the most valuable lessons I learned: There was a woman (whom I usually can't listen to in a conference setting...I know, mean. Sorry.) But, she was spot on. She spoke all about how to be positive in a seemingly negative situation. Here are some of the examples she gave:

I'm grateful for the taxes I have to pay, because it means I am employed.
I'm grateful for the last parking spot in the back of the lot, because it means I have the ability to walk. 
I'm grateful I have to wake up early, because it means I have something to wake up for. 
I'm grateful to be exhausted at the end of each day, because it means I have had a full, productive day. 

These are all things I often grumble about. I am so grateful for her thoughts and the effect they had on me. I would encourage all of you (whoever has gotten this far into my story) to make your own list like this, because I promise, it will put a tiny smile on your face when you think of the ridiculous things to be grateful for.
Worked for me!

The other quote that stuck with me was from President Kimball's wife, Camilla Eyring Kimball, who said "Never suppress a generous thought". I feel that I do this far too often and was grateful for the eye-opener. Wise woman. 

Here's the best part...
The last session of the conference was in a giant IMAX theater at Polynesian Cultural Center. I got gussied up in my cute new dress, the black and white stripe one that fits me perfectly and I LOVE.  I came in about 1 1/2 minutes late and had to walk all the way up one side of the IMAX, all the way around the back, and almost all the way back down the other side. Therefore, everybody is watching you make the trek while they are singing the opening song. That's fine, I can handle that. I sat through the 2 hours of talks and when it was over, made the walk up, over, and down again. I walked out into the courtyard where I'm pretty sure every LDS single from Oahu AND all surrounding islands was gathered for lunch. I was feeling pretty cute in my new dress and 4 inch heels. I begin to wait in the 15 minute line, my gaggle of girls directly behind me the whole time. I see a girl get up from across the courtyard and make a bee-line towards me. Weird...?
She pulls me aside and whispers in my ear "Not to be rude (who starts a sentence like that?!?!?! it's never good...) but you have a giant rip in the back of your dress". 

Needless to say, I will never be going to any more social meals with the "singles" ever again...it's just not a good fit. 

2 comments:

Sarah Gwyneth said...

Hahahahahaha!!!!!! I am sooo glad that I read the whole post! Not that I wouldn't anyways. Oh Holls I am sure you made that ripped dress look hot! Also, thanks for mentioning the lessons you took from the conference. It's always good to be reminded to be a positive person and this post did just that!

Unknown said...

I have the same dilemma next weekend. The workshops should be great but can I take the punishment of the being surrounded by the masses of awkward young singles for entire weekend? But after reading your post I feel that if Holli can and did that I should too. My only true hope for the conference is that someone preferably a complete stranger pulls me aside and starts a sentence with "not to be rude..."

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